Chris doesn’t wear Chucks or graphic tees. No black-rimmed glasses or leather laptop satchel. He prefers Hank Williams Jr. and Jimmy Buffet to indie I-knew-them-before-they-were-cool bands. And he’s into hunting, fishing and college football. Yes, that’s right. Our art director kills animals. Then he eats them.
The problem is he’s so damn good at what he does. I mean one quick look and you say “I bet this was done by a leather-satchel-wearing, indie-music-listening art director with black-rimmed glasses who only buys clothes at Urban Outfitters.” But you’re wrong.
We sat down with Chris to find out why he is not a building contractor or a country music star, and whether he prefers Miller High Life or Coors. We started with a trick question.
Q: Why are you not a building contractor or country music star?
A: I am a building contractor in my spare time, building out the basement in my house. Framing, electrical, hanging drywall, trim, paint. Putting in theater-style seating and a big screen.
Q: I’m sorry, theater what?
A: Let me make it simple for you. Two words: Man cave.
Q: So you actually hunt?
A: Shot doves Saturday.
Q: And that means you have a gun?
Q: And that means you could have a gun on you right now.
A: Any more questions?
Q: Um. Let’s switch to fishing. You like to fish, right? What do you like about fishing?
A: You never know what you’re going to catch. I’ve caught nothing one day, twenty red fish another. I caught an 8-foot shark once. It’s so peaceful and so nice. It’s about being outside.
Q: You have a 15-year-old son. Does your son like fishing?
A: He likes the snacks. And yeah, he likes getting out on the water. I mean, who doesn’t? You’re inside all day, working on a computer, staring at a screen. It’s great to get outdoors. You get to see stuff like www.youtube.com/FLWildlifeCorridor.
Q: Wait a minute. This is an interview. It’s supposed to read like you’re talking. You can’t just throw out a URL like that. Are you trying to get us to look at your work?
A: You mean like www.findthefunnow.com, www.makemeafirefighter.org and www.floridawildlifecorridor.org.
Q: Okay, that’s enough. This interview is over!